Third Place Match: Uruguay vs Germany

Am I really the only one that’s going to be here? I know this match is meaningless but it should be a good match and it’s still the World Cup! After two days where I spun myself silly thinking of ways that Spain could survive the physical approach of the Dutch, I’m glad that I will have an actual football match to watch.

The news is that the German camp, perhaps aided by depression over their semifinal loss to Spain, have been struck down by the flu. I think coach Joachim Low will be staying in bed for this one, while Podolski and Lahm have apparently recovered enough to play. There are still doubts over record-chasing Miroslav Klose who has a back problem. Uruguay will be missing captain Diego Lugano again due to the knee injury he picked up against Ghana, and Diego Forlan has a thigh issue that might stop him from playing. World-class “goalkeeper” Luis Suarez will be returning from suspension for Uruguay while Thomas Muller is back for Germany. How different the semifinals might have gone had these two players played for their respective teams.

Here come the sides. Lots of changes for Germany, as Podolski, Lahm, Klose and goalkeeper Neuer are replaced by Jansen, Aogo, Cacau and Butt respectively. That flu must have hit them hard. UEFA president Michel Platini was hit too, fainting in a Johannesburg restaurant and going to hospital.

1st half:

1st minute: Uruguay get us under way on a very rainy night at Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium.

3rd minute: Cacau has the ball in the net but there is a player in an offside position. Bit of a physical start to the match as Aogo goes in the book for a rather dangerous challenge.

7th minute: Diego Forlan has two chances from consecutive free kicks. One is into the wall, the other goes just over the bar. Very open game, as expected.

10th minute: A German corner is headed onto the bar by Freidrich and Muller is unable to direct the rebound into the net. Freidrich had never scored for Germany before the match against Argentina.

17th minute: No clear opportunities since that last one but Uruguay have been nibbling away at the German defense. Suarez and Forlan only need a sniff of goal to take the lead. I wonder if Suarez will leave Ajax for a bigger club after the World Cup.

18th minute: It’s Germany who take the lead. Schweinsteiger lets fly from at least 40 yards and Muslera can only save it onto the path of onrushing Muller, who easily puts it into the corner of the goal. He now has five goals, even with Villa of Spain and Sneijder of the Netherlands for top scoring honours.

27th minute: Uruguay have shown some endeavour in the last few minutes. Forlan had an opportunity, and from the corner Cavani almost flicks it in. There it is! Schweinsteiger gets caught in possession in midfield and Suarez passes to Cavani to score. It’s 1-1.

40th minute: The heavy rain has made for a bit of a scrappy affair since the Uruguayan goal. Lots of misplaced passes as ball zips along the surface. The pitch looks awful.

42nd minute: Suarez beats the offside trap and has plenty of time and space in front of Butt but he shoots horribly wide.

45th minute: Muslera drops a corner but Uruguay launch a counterattack but that goes out for a corner too. Attacks from both sides as we approach the half.

Half-time: An exciting start to this match is now swiftly getting bogged down due to the rain. There are plenty more goals in this one, though.

48th minute: A corner from Germany again causes Muslera problems but Uruguay survive. They launch a counterattack, and Butt has to make a save first from Cavani and then from Suarez, who had mishit his shot anyway.

51st minute: It’s Sexy Diego! Arevalo Rios with the cross and Diego Forlan, on the volley, hits the ball into the ground and in. What a great finish. It’s 2-1 to Uruguay. He now also have five goals at this World Cup.

56th minute: Muslera’s error, another one, leads to Germany being level. The cross comes in and it’s Jansen with the simple headed goal. The Uruguayan goalkeeper is having a horrible match. It’s 2-2. The commentator is very unhappy with the booing that Suarez is getting every time he gets the ball.

59th minute: Cacau goes on a very good run and passes to Ozil who attempts to hold on to the ball instead of crossing or shooting and loses it.

63rd minute: Suarez with a long range shot that Butt has to beat away acrobatically. Good save. The match is end to end right now. Germany appeal for a deliberate back pass that’s picked up by Muslera but it’s an interception, nothing more.

65th minute: Cavani and Forlan combine again to open up Germany but Butt saves from Sexy Diego. Muller has a shot at the other end of the pitch that trickles wide. Everyone’s on the hunt for that Golden Boot.

74th minute: Cacau has an awful strike go wide but he’s unhappy with Lugano about something. They keep arguing. Soon enough, Cacau is subbed out for Kiessling, probably to save him from the second yellow.

76th minute: Kiessling almost scored there but Muslera this time makes no mistake and knocks the ball away safely.

78th minute: Maxi Pereira shoots over the bar from a free kick. Muller escaped there as his arm was stepped on. He’s obviously hurt but stays on the pitch.

82nd minute: Kiessling has been getting into some very good positions since he’s come on. And there it is! Khedira with a header after a corner causes confusion in the Uruguayan box. Lugano should have cleared it before Khedira pounced on it. Muslera, for once, blameless as it is 3-2 to Germany.

87th minute: Boateng with a strike on the bounce that is well held by Muslera. Like most third place matches, a high-scoring, entertaining affair although I disagree with Chris Waddle when he says it’s the best game so far. There’s not much riding on this. Kiessling again with the ball but he shoots over the bar when he should at least have tested Muslera.

93rd minute: It’s the last minute and Uruguay have a dangerous free kick. Last chance for Sexy Diego. Oh my god. That was almost it as it hits the bar and bounces up! That is the last kick of the match, and Germany finish third for the second World Cup in a row.

Full-time: A very entertaining match, as these tend to be. Deserved ending for Germany and would have been for Uruguay as well. And now after 63 matches, just the one left. Super excited about this. I’ll be at the bar starting at 8 am, ready for what I hope to be a classic final.

Semifinal 2: Germany vs Spain

Torres is dropped! Finally! Del Bosque’s voicemail must have been creaking with messages to drop the Liverpool man, and the Mustache has finally listened. Pedro starts in his place, which is a good decision although Fernando Llorente might have been a bit more of a handful for the German central defenders. It’s Pedro’s first-ever start for Spain. Germany will be missing the suspended Thomas Muller, not sure who will come in in his place. Gomez and Cacau are available, but Gomez stinks and Cacau is probably better as a replacement for Klose. The other player left would be Piotr Trochowski who on paper seems like the best replacement for Muller. I expect him to start.

The Italian and I were the first people here and of course the amazing staff already had a table reserved for us. I love being treated like football royalty! A sparse crowd here with hardly anyone wearing any team colours but I’m sure that will change. The Germans tend to come out in force. I remember the Euro 2008 final where this whole place was full of German fans and I was sitting with the six other Spanish fans. We definitely endured some dirty looks on our way out after Spain beat Germany.

The Pastor and I both support Spain, and the table is supporting them too, but the fear is that this Germany team is unstoppable right now. Not having Muller in the lineup might throw off the German rhythm but they have coped well without Ballack in the whole tournament and without Klose against Serbia and Ghana. Badstuber was a weak link in defense but he has been replaced by Boateng. Just looked at the lineups on the really-quite-good FIFA website and it does indeed look like Trachowski is starting.

Predictions all around and the consensus seems to be that everyone wants Spain to win but Germany are going to take it. The Greek’s Brother’s Girlfriend (I know, she needs a better name) says the Germans “know things” making them sound like psychics and goes for a 2-1 win for them. The Italian is in deep thought right now but he has decided that Spain will win this, either 2-1 or 3-2. The BBC says 3-1 to Germany but Alan Shearer thinks the Germans have peaked too early and will lose this. The Greek says 1-0 to Spain. The Greek’s Mother (yes, she really is here) is in two minds and she thinks Germany will win. The Frenchman thinks Spain are a big team, used to this stage better than the young Germans, and will come through with a narrow win. Paul the octopus has picked Spain although he had picked Germany for the Euro 2008 final that they lost so maybe he is redressing the balance. I’m getting foolhardy now and will change my 2-1 to Spain to a 2-0 for Spain. The Pastor, as usual, outshines me and is thinking of even greater things for Spain, 3-0 or 4-0. Spain to out-German the Germans! Meaning the new German football, in evidence since 2006. The Pastor says the old German football wins, the new looks pretty but doesn’t go all the way. Perhaps he’ll be right. By the way, he does point out that it will feel like a 4-0 even if the score is not exactly that. I’ll leave everyone to figure that out on their own. Like he said in the lengthy phone conversation we had yesterday, we can talk about this till we are blue in the face but it doesn’t matter once the match kicks off. If Spain show up, they can defeat any team in the world, but will they show up?

Half-an-hour to kickoff. I have no idea what is going to happen. I’m looking forward to finding out.

1st half:

1st minute: The pitch looks…greener. Is that the effect of sea-level?

3rd minute: A cagey beginning as expected. Spain have a lot of the ball. Perhaps Germany are looking to hit on the counterattack like they did against England and Germany.

4th minute: We have a streaker! He’s carted off pretty immediately by security at the stadium. In an unrelated development, the Nigerian has arrived and predicts a 2-1 win for Germany.

6th minute: What a great through ball! It’s Pedro to Villa but Neuer manages to save.

8th minute: An odd start, both teams sitting back, Spain keeping possession but not going too far forward, rightly afraid of the counterattack.

10th minute: Klose almost has the better of Pique there. Pique makes me nervous. Then Ozil is offside. Germany perhaps coming alive. The way they are playing, I fear they will score on their first chance.

13th minute: Spain with a corner. It’s taken short, and the cross when it comes in is headed too high by Puyol. I thought he was going to score and he probably should have.

15th minute: Germany with a corner and Casillas flaps and gives away another corner. Nerve-racking. The other corner is punched clear and the attack in the end peters out. Warning signs for both teams as they continue to feel each other out.

18th minute: Germany have come back into it a little bit but misplaced passes and crosses let them down. Nervous from both teams.

20th minute: The Pastor thinks Germany are getting a bit of space on the left as Ramos is getting too far forward. Ramos takes a shot into the side netting.

22nd minute: Spain with another corner. Germany counterattack but Ozil, again, misplaces his pass. He needs to improve if Germany are going to win this.

24th minute: Capdevila is offside on the left after another Germany attack breaks down, Puyol covering well to take the ball away from Klose as he shaped to shoot.

25th minute: I don’t think there has been a single foul so far. Ramos is fouled there by Boateng but there is still no foul given. Not much in it, really.

26th minute: Pastor notes that Spain’s pass completion is 87% and Germany’s is 71%. There’s the first foul, I think, on Podolski by Ramos. Podolski is limping off. Is he going to be substituted?

29th minute: Ozil tries to Klose again but it goes long. Podolski is back on the field. Xabi Alonso tries his luck from distance but it was always going wide.

32nd minute: Trochowski tries now from distance and Casillas has to make a save. Spain manage to clear the corner but they look nervous from set-pieces.

35th minute: Another corner from Germany and Casillas windmills it way. An unorthodox clearance but it gets the job done.

37th minute: The crowd, majority supporting Germany, get excited as Podolski beats the offside trap but the flag is up. I think he was onside. Ramos is leaving too much space for Podolski on the left.

39th minute: The Germans flow forward very well. They are getting better as the match goes on. Spain are still bossing the possession but are doing less and less with it. I’m very afraid.

42nd minute: Xavi tries a cheeky move from a free kick but the Germans are well aware of his intentions. Bit of a waste, probably should have tried for something simpler like floating it into the box.

44th minute: This half has so far been shaded by Spain but only because of possession. Clear cut opportunities have been very rare in this match.

46th minute: Klose sets Ozil free and he goes down in the box but it isn’t a penalty. I’ll have to see the replay. Pedro takes a long range shot as Spain go up the other end that is easy for Neuer.

Half-time: Cagey, perhaps even a bit boring. At least, the Pastor thinks so. I’m racked with nerves because Germany still looked pretty dangerous coming forward. Not the best half of football from them as Spain have kept them away from the ball successfully. Still, Spain haven’t managed to do too much with it. Germany are looking very organized at the back and that will frustrate Spain. Pastor says Germany are waiting for Spain to make a mistake. With Ramos on the field, that’s always possible. I still don’t know how this is going to turn out. Very close to call.

2nd half:

48th minute: Pedro goes on a blistering run on the right side and beats several players before laying off for Xabi Alonso but his shot goes wide again. Unfortunate, should have at least tested the keeper. The pattern of the first half is being repeated.

50th minute: It’s Alonso again and he hits it wide again as Spain work the ball to him. He really should hit the target.

52nd minute: Marcell Jansen is on for Boateng. I thought he had an okay game against the marauding Ramos but perhaps a little more solidity required. An early defensive substitution is hardly a statement of intent from the German coach.

55th minute: More good movement from Spain and Villa puts a low shot from outside the box wide. I get the feeling this is going to be like the Switzerland game. Germany will score one on the counter and then hold on.

59th minute: I cannot believe that Spain did not score. A long range shot is parried by Neuer and then Iniesta sends a very inviting ball across the face of goal that David Villa just cannot reach. An amazing exchange of passes in the penalty area. Spain much the better team.

61st minute: Klose with a header over the bar. Toni Kroos is coming on for Trochowski. Do they miss Muller? Hell yes they do.

64th minute: Ramos goes down in the box trying to reach a cross. Not a penalty. The Pastor is calling for Villa to be substituted.

66th minute: Another frustrating Spain move. They’ve been very patient throughout this tournament. Can they break Germany down? It will take something amazing.

68th minute: Villa with a weak shot from the right this time. Easy for Neuer to hold on to. Spain have the ball. Of course.

69th minute: Not that time! Germany open up Spain and you would think Muller would have put that away. Kroos shoots but Casillas saves. Phew. The Germans have a free kick. Are they going to win this in the last 20 minutes?

72nd minute: Spain have survived a late German onslaught. The Pastor says that this has the smell of a German-style win all over it. Spain have a corner though.

73rd minute: YESSSSSSSS!!! It’s a simple corner and Puyol, that beast of a man, that lovely beast of a man, comes charging in and heads it in powerfully. Well-deserved. Can they score again? They must.

78th minute: It’s time for Spain to sit back but they are making me very uncomfortable. Now it is them looking to counter but both chances are defended well. Germany pouring forward. We are in for a very nervous end to the match.

81st minute: They put on Mario Gomez. Torres comes on for Spain. He gets the bigger cheer.

82nd minute: What the hell is Pedro doing? He runs at an empty field and all he needed to was pass to Torres but he delays too long and loses the ball. Stupid, stupid.

84th minute: A free kick for Germany in a dangerous area. Ozil to take it. Panic in the area but Spain survive. Can they hold on? Pedro is coming off for new Manchester City signing David Silva.

88th minute: I can barely watch this. Torres on another counter but a misplaced pass lets him down. And me. He should stop doing that to me.

89th minute: Another Torres attempt but he earns a corner, keeping Freidrich honest. Spain keep opening them up in the area and earn another corner. Please, one more goal.

90th minute: Yet another corner. Silva has looked good since coming on as he forces the defender into a mistake. Three minutes of added time.

94th minute: Xabi Alonso is coming off, very very slowly, to be replaced by Marchena.

Full-time: YEEEEESSSSAHAHAHHAHAHA! Take that you Germans! I have to say that this was a fully deserved win by Spain, who played their game to almost perfection. That wasn’t a Spanish kind of goal but that was a great win, a great performance. Although I think he is a flip-flopper extraordinaire, the Pastor had this final from the very beginning. Much credit to him for his pick. He has the Dutch winning and so did I, although I had it against Argentina. I’ll stick by it because as the Pastor says, the best team does not win the World Cup and right now I would say Spain are the best team.

I’ll have to write more in the next two days. I’m spent.

i still know who will win the world cup

Mufti and i had an extensive conversation yesterday regarding the semi-finalists and the world cup as a whole. we talked ourselves in circles regarding who would win what matchup, whether our predictions were any good, and whether this world cup is the best ever. we amicably agreed that this was the best world cup – so far – of our conscious lifetime. it has a little of everything and a whole lot of drama.

before the world cup we predicted and i ended up with three of four. none of the four teams in the semi-finals or who they beat to get there surprises me. several people had Spain, no surprise there. few had the germans, including their own. even fewer had the dutch, considering the potential clash with the former ‘Dunga kings’. hardly anybody had Uruguay – my consolation: i had the right group but the wrong team. what is surprising to everyone though is the style each team got to the semi-finals.

in the spirit of over-analyzing the shit out of this on my first full day back, here is the Pastor approved world cup semi-final gibberish.

Netherlands
Paving the yellow brick road

Known by the Friends of the Blog as – the pre-tournament world champions
Also Known as – the team that gives me, as a Real Madrid fan, major heartburn
Mea Culpa – the only time i had doubts about them winning was right after the Brazil goal when they looked exposed
Strength – several sources of creativity
Weakness – they leave themselves exposed in defense at times
Team Identity – adaptability
Creative Chaos – Sneijder, Robben, Van Persie
Spine – Van Bronckhorst, Van Bommel, De Jong
Composure – 12 yellow cards so far but none compromising yet…
Momentum and Consistency – 24 game unbeaten streak
Health – Van Persie and Mathisjen are supposedly fit…
Fearlessness – can we just agree to call the second half against Brazil fearless?
Luck – the first goal by Brazil was deemed offside… considering the refereeing at the world cup that’s awfully lucky
One Word to Describe Their Game – adaptable
Group Stages – clinical
Round of 16 – easy
Quarter Finals – inspired
Why They Will Win – they can play different styles of football and they make very few mistakes
Why They Will Lose – they’re my pick to win it all
What Will Happen – they are the most aggressive team left in the world cup: 82 fouls committed. they will beat the win out of Uruguay

Uruguay
Whatever it takes

Known by the Friends of the Blog as – the inconsistent team with a very high potential
Also Known as – the team missing a lot of components
Mea Culpa – i have had a crush on this team for a while but liked Mexico a bit more because i lived there
Strength – set pieces
Weakness – they tend to let their opponents dictate the game
Team Identity – maximize opportunities
Creative Chaos – Forlan, Suarez, Lodeiro
Spine – Arevalo, Perez and Pereira
Composure – two players attempted to stop the ball with their hands on the last play in extra time against Ghana, that’s what i call a competitive presence of mind
Momentum and Consistency – i wonder if they might be spent from the emotional rollercoaster quarter-final
Health – Luis Suarez isn’t unhealthy but he isn’t playing either
Fearlessness – Luis Suarez
Luck – Asamoah Gyan
One Word to Describe Their Game – blunt
Group Stages – beating Mexico got them the significantly easier draw
Round of 16 – the Suarez show in a match the South Koreans kind of dominated
Quarter Finals – oh the heartbreak… i will remember this ending forever
Why They Will Win – they have the ability to shut down and make the most out of set pieces, a dangerous combination
Why They Will Lose – Suarez accounts for as many shots and as many goals as their talisman sexy Diego
What Will Happen – Uruguay will cause the dutch to sweat and will make them work very hard for the win

Germany
Sometimes being someone else just works better

Known by the Friends of the Blog as – the team i said was going to make it to the semi-finals…
Also Known as – … although i said they needed something real special to win it…
Mea Culpa – … they found the something real special easier than i expected
Strength – stamina and the counter attack
Weakness – they don’t have a go to guy when frustrated or when playing from behind
Team Identity – counter attack
Creative Chaos – no clear player, maybe Ozil and Muller if i have to pick
Spine – Schweinsteiger, Lahm
Composure – apart from the Klose red card this youthful team is very composed
Momentum and Consistency – the best team at the world cup so far including the Serbia game they dominated but lost
Health – Ballack missing was thought an issue, they have overcome rather easily
Fearlessness – their performance against England comes to mind especially their reaction to the non-goal goal
Luck – the non-goal goal could have changed the game
One Word to Describe Their Game – emboldened
Group Stages – Germany qualifying is the closest thing we have to a formality in football
Round of 16 – a combination of a strong performance, a bad call, and an opponent in disarray
Quarter Finals – absolutely dominated the spine, as expected
Why They Will Win – they are supreme on the counter and their stamina has taken the saying ‘never discount Germany in the last 20 min’ to a whole new level
Why They Will Lose – where is the spark coming from when the counter doesn’t work?
What Will Happen – they will win the first 20 min and the last 20 min of the game

Spain
Playing like you think you’ve already won it

Known by the Friends of the Blog as – the deepest, most talented, most frustrating, entitled team
Also Known as – the new age 1998 to 2006 Brazil or the team that can win with several sub-par performances
Mea Culpa – i thought Del Bosque would do better by now
Strength – the depth of the squad
Weakness – they seem to fall asleep during the game
Team Identity – possession football
Creative Chaos – Xavi, Iniesta, David Villa, and from the bench Cesc
Spine – Alonso, Busquets, Puyol
Composure – possession football requires  excellent composure, they are currently the best in the world at it
Momentum and Consistency – this is the biggest question mark for the spanish
Health – i believe health will be brought up as an excuse if they fail to advance
Fearlessness – David Villa is throwing himself at every opportunity, Torres should watch and learn
Luck – they have gotten so far without playing real well
One Word to Describe Their Game – underwhelming
Group Stages – they thought they were entitled to win the group coming in: surprise!
Round of 16 – their best game of the world cup so far
Quarter Finals – their worst game of the world cup so far
Why They Will Win – the only way to stop them is to play them physically, 97 fouls suffered so far
Why They Will Lose – they haven’t played a ‘spanish’ game, maybe against Portugal, in a very long time
What Will Happen – if they score first they will win

Quarterfinal 3: Argentina vs Germany

Violence! Bring on the violence!

This is going to be one hell of a hard-fought match. Bad feeling between these teams goes back a long time, perhaps to the 1986 final won by Argentina followed by the 1990 one that Germany won with a sole penalty. And of course 2006’s quarterfinal which ended in a fracas after Germany won the game on penalties. Bastian Schweinsteiger and Philip Lahm started it all by commenting about the Argentines’ gamesmanship and calling them “bad losers” and of course, Diego Maradona did not in the lease resist any urges to respond in kind. I’ve predicted Argentina to win this and I think El Pastor has the Germans going through and meeting the Dutch in the final. This match decides which one of us is right. Apparently neither of us has that much faith in Spain, eh?

Motto for Argentina: Do it for Diego. Motto for Germany: Get those dirty Argentines! I’m hoping for a great game although not sure if my nerves can take what happened in the Uruguay/Ghana match yesterday. We were just debating whether Luis Suarez is a cheat at the table and consensus seems to be that he’s not. When you’re standing on the line in the very last minute of extra time with a place in a World Cup semifinal on the line, I don’t care who you are, you are keeping that ball out of the net, fuck the consequences. Cheating is when you get an advantage unfairly without getting punished for it. Suarez got a red card, eliminating what might be his only chance of playing in a World Cup semifinal in his career and gave away a penalty that in most cases would have been scored. He just got lucky that Gyan missed the shot that would have taken Ghana to the semifinals.

We’ve had two quarterfinals, and red cards and drama in both. I won’t be betting against something like that happening in this highly charged affair. Is Demichelis going to make a mistake or three? Will Mesut Ozil outshine Lionel Messi? Will Tevez score another offside goal? Can’t wait.

1st half:

2nd minute: Klose gets stuck in early as he takes down Mascherano and gets a bit of a talking to from the referee. He’s going to have his hands full, the Uzbek ref.

3rd minute: And from the free kick, Germany take the leader. Schweinsteiger heads it against Romero and it rebounds into the net, and it is Muller again. Just like Pastor said, Maradona will have to recognize him now. The ballboy has scored, Diego. What a start for the Germans.

7th minute: Argentina haven’t been behind in this World Cup so far. I wonder how they will respond. Germany still in control.

8th minute: Germany tear apart the Argentine defense again and have to settle for a corner. Germany’s defense is better, not sure if Diego has the tactical nous to unlock it.

23rd minute: Slowly Argentina have come back into the match, playing their possession game. Messi plays a beautiful through ball for Tevez to run onto and Neuer gets there just in time. Germany still a threat on the counter and they miss a great opportunity there as Klose shoots over the bar. It’s Muller again with the cross. You expect Klose to make it 2-0 there but it’s still just the one goal advantage for Germany.

33rd minute: Argentina playing a bit like Spain, all possession, no penetration, like a jealous, sexually frustrated boyfriend. Germany look like scoring every time they break, Schweinsteiger running the midfield.

35th minute: Higuain with some lovely control in the box but Neuer saves down low. Muller gets a yellow for a handball that really wasn’t and will miss a potential semifinal. It is harsh.

37th minute: The free kick is into the wall but the ball comes back in and Argentina have the ball in the net. But they also have four players offside and the score remains the same.

39th minute: Podolski with a great shot that just curves wide of the far post.

42nd minute: One of the assistants needs a new flag. That’s the second time I’ve seen that.

46th minute: Almost at half-time, and Germany have restricted Messi to long-range shots. That one goes over the bar and it is half-time.

Half-time: A good half of solid, attacking football from both teams. Argentina need to make some changes in attack as they are having too much trouble with a very organized German defense. Germany look comfortable and very dangerous in attack and could have finished the match already if Klose had brought his shooting boots. Still only one goal in it and Germany’s domination is not as complete as Brazil’s was yesterday against Netherlands. Anything can happen in the next 45 minutes, of course. Is South America’s World Cup in danger of being over? I just asked the table to imagine a Uruguay vs Paraguay final and was greeted by loud groans.

2nd half:

47th minute: The Greek wants a controversial penalty for Argentina. He says he’s here for the entertainment. The Italian says Germany are rock solid at the back. He’s not far off.

48th minute: Di Maria unleashes a shot from the right and it flies wide of the post with Neuer stretched. That would have been some goal.

54th minute: Di Maria cross is knocked on and the shot hits Freidrich in the face and goes out for a corner. Brave defense although he probably didn’t know much about it.

57th minute: Higuain is offside, or is he? It’s very close. He would have been one on one with Neuer. Germany have a chance as Klose challenges Romero for the ball but the goalkeeper is equal to it.

63rd minute: Argentina playing with more pace now, and keep coming in attack. Di Maria almost releases Messi and then Tevez and Higuain have weak shots saved by Neuer.

64th minute: Lahm with a vital tackle in the box stopping Higuain from shooting as a rebound from a Messi shot ends up at his feet. Germany reeling slightly as Argentina dominate. Di Maria tries his luck and Neuer saves again. In truth, the shots have been weak and Germany are surviving.

66th minute: Germany have a free kick in a similar position to the goal. This time, it doesn’t beat the first Argentine defender.

68th minute: I think that is it for Argentina and Maradona. Podolski squares easily for Klose, who takes one touch in front of an empty net and then easily taps it in. He must have found his shooting boots at half-time. That is a little bit against the run of play but that’s how they won against England. Can Argentina do something? They don’t have much time.

74th minute: It’s all over. Schweinsteiger beats three, four Argentine defenders and Arne Freidrich, who is somehow in the box, bundles in the ball. It’s 3-0 to Germany, who surely are the favourites to win this whole thing now.

77th minute: The Greek says, “Fucking Germans! What the hell!” My sentiments exactly.

78th minute: Another speedy counterattack by Germany but Argentina this time clear their lines. 12 minutes till the end for Maradona. Germany are just too good for his team.

80th minute: Messi with a shot way, way over the bar. It’s too bad he’ll finish the World Cup without a goal.

84th minute: Muller goes off, he’s limping a bit. A big round of applause for him, deservedly.

86th minute: Pastor’s better half, White Pony, must be quite sad as her pretty men Messi and Higuain have not managed to save their team from the Germans.

89th minute: It’s a demolition. Klose again, it’s 4-0 for Germany. I really did not expect Argentina to play that badly. Everybody’s calling for the Germans to have mercy on Messi. The Germans have none.

Full-time: It’s all over for Maradona, Messi and Argentina. What a demolition by Germany, a lesson in counter attacking football. England probably don’t feel so bad now, do they? I’m amazed by the Germans. They have played really, really well. They are young, fast and full of confidence. The Pastor is on the chat and is rubbing it in because I had Argentina winning this. I think he’s still hurting over the 32-21 pasting Mufti gave him in the group stages but a good call from him nonetheless. I’ll let him savour this victory, though I don’t believe anyone thought Argentina would be beaten this badly.

Spain vs Paraguay next and no one is believing in a Paraguay win. Spain showed against Switzerland that if they play with a sense of entitlement (Pastor’s comment) they can lose. I still don’t think they will but maybe they’ll have more difficulty than they imagine.

Rest day? What rest day?

There is no rest from the World Cup! No escape! It follows you everywhere! As the German volunteer at my work rubs it in my face about the win over England, I’m having a detailed conversation about the bad refereeing with a company higher-up that I’m usually at pains to avoid. And of course, I’m reading about the last eight teams and scouring the internet for any little tidbits: Schweinsteiger baits Maradona! Maradona mocks Schweinsteiger in a German accent! Lahm calls the Argentines cheats! Thomas Muller is the future of German football! Messi might have the flu! Brazil don’t have a midfield! Dunga ignores Cruyff’s comments about his team! Sneijder and Van Persie don’t like each other!

It’s all a bit silly of course, and the press, having no actual matches to report on, will naturally build every little thing up into more than what it is. I have to say though that it’s always entertaining to hear Maradona talk and I’m a little surprised that the Germans are saying all these nasty things. Before the England game it was all mutual respect diplomacy but here they are trying to get to the Argentine team with uncharacteristic head games. The bad blood stems from that fiery quarterfinal four years ago that ended in a mass brawl after Germany’s penalty shootout victory. It might get ugly on Saturday.

El Pastor has spoken and as usual he says many wise things, most of which I can’t help but agree with. Considering I have to go to bed to get up for the Brazil/Netherlands match, I’ll try and keep my predictions/analysis somewhat short. But you know how it is, Mufti loves to talk.

Brazil vs Netherlands: This is a quarterfinal I had predicted before the World Cup began, and I’ll stick with my prediction of a narrow Dutch win. I will additionally predict that the winner of this match will go on to win the World Cup. I want a classic match but I don’t expect one because both teams play similar systems and the game could get bogged down in an overcrowded midfield. Why I could be right: The Dutch will control the midfield in the absence through injury or suspension of Elano, Julio Baptista, Ramires and possibly Felipe Melo. Kaka has not been at his best and Dunga does not have an adequate replacement for him in the squad. And as Brazilian great Tostao has pointed out, Michel Bastos is isolated on the left side of defense and that’s where Arjen Robben will attack. Why I could be wrong: Brazil are extremely solid at the back and had no trouble defending against Chile’s Alexis Sanchez on the left side. The midfield will cope (Melo might be fit after all) and Kaka, Robinho and Luis Fabiano is a combination that could hit it off at any moment. Van Persie and Sneijder are having difficulties as the age old ego problems are beginning to surface in the Dutch camp.

Uruguay vs Ghana: This is a tough one to call because I want both these teams to progress. A Uruguay vs Brazil semifinal has a nice historical ring about it, and seeing an African team in the semis for the first time would be beautiful. My verdict? A close win for Uruguay, 1-0 or 2-1, possibly in extra time. Why I could be right: Uruguay look like they have the winning habit since their second match against South Africa (3-0 win). They were dominated by the South Koreans for long periods of their second round match but ultimately won with a combination of solid defense and good midfield play. When they needed to chase the win, their big name players Forlan and Suarez came to the fore. Without Essien, Ghana don’t have anyone like that. Why I could be wrong: Ghana have the whole of Africa behind them, like Pastor said, and played very well against an admittedly ragged USA team in the first half of that match. Gyan seems confident and capable of finishing well from anywhere in the box, and they still have Sulley Muntari in reserve. Uruguay should be alarmed at the way they sat back against South Korea, eventually conceding.

Argentina vs Germany: With all the trash talk in the last two days, the game itself might well be a downer. But I refuse to think it will be, and will go ahead and predict a classic, hard-fought, back-and-forth match that Argentina emerge from, bloodied and bruised, as victors in extra time, 3 goals to 2. Why I could be right: Germany don’t usually denigrate opponents in this manner and I’m sensing a bit of nervousness in the squad. Argentina look very relaxed and the three-man offense of Higuain, Messi and Tevez looks unstoppable. Manuel Neuer in the German goal looks uncertain and has very few caps and the rest of the defense is a little slow. Why I could be wrong: Two names: German attacking midfielder Mesut Ozil and Argentine defender Martin Demichelis.

Spain vs Paraguay: The easiest of the quarterfinals to predict. Spain 2-0 over Paraguay, with Torres scoring a silly goal that’s not worthy of his name, meaning he’ll keep his place for the semifinal, meaning Spain will waste 60 minutes of the match with him on the field and immediately play better when he’s subbed, by which time it will be too late. Del Bosque needs to get over his love affair with Torres and start with a different striker or change the system to include Fabregas. But I digress. Why I could be right: I am right. Why I could be wrong: I won’t be wrong. If I am, the Pastor and I promise to move to Vermont and get married.

Eight teams left, seven meaningful and one meaningless match left. Looking forward to watching every minute.

JABULANI REX!

the funny thing about the whole projection business is the constant second guessing. if you look at my initial prediction, i went straight for instinct as in i didn’t put too much thought into it. i had Spain, Germany, Netherlands and Mexico as my final four… the only reason i had Mexico was that i thought they would win the Uruguay matchup and roll over a weakened England (they turned out to be weaker than i expected). naturally i was wrong about the matchup and we might see Uruguay in the final four instead. not bad for basic instincts, right? mine that is, not the movie. for the second prediction post i tried to reason the unreasonable and the result was a massive failure in my opinion. i knew it as soon as i posted it. Chile wasn’t going to beat Brazil (more on why i keep picking against Brazil in a second), the Paraguay – Japan game was a crapshoot and i’m asian, and the USA – Ghana game was decided by my wife, she isn’t ghanaian so there’s the pick. my thought for the supposed Japan – Spain game was all about the matchup – Spain has been struggling against a well coached, technically proficient teams (the Swiss did it). you bet Del Bosque is begging for Argentina in the semis instead of Germany. finally the Brazil – Netherlands game, as i said in the first predictions post i don’t see any major pitfalls in the (not-so) brazilian game, and i hate that. one coronation of a dark lord and his minions in a football year is enough, i don’t want them to win so much i will pick anybody against them just because. how confident am i the Netherlands have this game? not as confident as i am of a Brazil victory. how much will i cheer for the Oranje to win? my voice will be hoarse.

now at the request of Mufti and with little time to spare between meals, family reunions, tourism, traffic, and six hours of public electricity a day here are my quick overviews of each matchup in a new format.
Uruguay – Ghana
instinct – i said Forlan had golden boot written all over him but it’s Suarez that is taking advantage of all the attention opposing defenses are giving Sexy Diego. Uruguay plays beautiful football and are part of one of the most successful world cups for south american teams ever. i love the ghanaians. they are playing with all of africa behind them, next to them, in front of them, all over them, this is a team of destiny now.
reason – Uruguay haven’t played anybody like the ghanaians yet. actually they haven’t played anybody but the mexicans. i thought they could beat the americans because the americans couldn’t hold that offense back but the ghanaians are a very strong defensive team. i can see this game turning into a goal fest or a penalty shootout. both teams do something really really well and both are inconsistent… something has got to give.
expectation – who scores first, wins.
Argentina – Germany
instinct – this game was set from the time the world cup groups were drawn. i doubt anybody had it otherwise. Argentina are playing better than i expected them to. Germany are playing as expected, they still dominated in the spine of the Serbia game despite playing with ten men. Mufti, you and i have different perspectives on this game. there’s a lot to doubt in the argentinians and the germans but both have certainly exceeded expectations in style.
reason – there is no reasoning history… two world cup finals, different styles, aggressive play, one iconic figure on the sidelines…
expectation – this is the first of two amazing quarter final matchups: argentinian instinct versus german reason… oooh what a tough one to call: Germany, Muller makes sure Maradona recognizes him this time.
Brazil – Netherlands
instinct – Brazil. there i said it. my instinct is Brazil will win. no, no they won’t! my instinct says the Netherlands will win it. AAHH! this is another game of opposing styles. these two teams always play each other very well and always give us entertaining games. i expect more of the same.
reason – this is the same reasoned breakdown as the Inter – Bayern game. and as i said in that game, i would love Bayern to win but Inter is just too strong in every facet. the same is true here. Brazil is strong everywhere. they make few mistakes, which is not true of the dutch.
expectation – this is the first game of the quarter finals so whatever mind numbing shit i’ve been saying about it for the last three weeks will finally be resolved… this game won’t be won by creativity. whoever makes the least mistakes wins.
Spain – Paraguay
instinct – i would be absolutely shocked if the spanish lose this game.
reason – i would be absolutely shocked if the spanish lose this game.
expectation – Paraguay wins, just because i am ready to be shocked… not really.

The Mufti Predicts: Chaos and Carnage!

The Pastor has insisted that I redo my predictions for this second round. He’s very demanding, even at this great distance, and I don’t have the willpower to deny him what he wants. Otherwise, he might send Supercat after me. Wonder where he’s been this whole World Cup? Not to worry, I don’t feel like he’s going to make an imminent appearance, although I do blame him for that waitress not liking me any more. Ah, such is the lot of lonely Mufti. You think it’s the turban and beard combination?

Before I jump headlong (I always jump headlong but this time it’s with more force!) and wade into the morass of predictions, I’d like to get this off my chest. Fellow World Cup blogger Chris Ross has a good article about Frank Lampard’s non-goal in the match against Germany (oh, the agony!) and what he felt to be its massive impact. While I think Chris makes a valid point, I wrote this in reply to his comment:

Thanks for the praise, Chris. Just read your article, well-written as well, and you make a crucial point about that goal. Capello was keen to point that out in his interview after the match, and yes, momentum and confidence-wise it was a big turning point. But, and I in turn cannot emphasize this enough, England were extremely slow in defense and Capello, who had to be aware of the counter-attacking danger from the Germans in the situation England found themselves in, did not make any tactical or personnel changes to nullify the threat. He stuck with the 4-4-2, made like-for-like substitutions (although not sure what Joe Cole’s role really was) and Barry’s coverage play did not improve. Why not throw Carrick on? Why not put Joe Cole on the left, push Gerrard up the middle instead of bring on Heskey? You need goals and Heskey comes on? Earth to Fabio: Heskey does NOT score!

Anyway, I could go on and on (and already have) but I’m too gutted to really be of much argumentative use. I think there needs to be a massive change in the training methods of English youth and a push to prioritize the national team which I feel is at a disadvantage to the English club game. Without that, England will fail like this in major international tournaments time and again, no matter what magic dust they feel a foreign coach with a lot of experience can sprinkle over players who fail at the basics of the sport. The Germans may not be miles (or in this case, 4-1) better than England but on the night, they were. They passed the ball well, took their chances well, and controlled the match even when not in possession. Nothing spectacular; just good football. I look forward to checking out more of your opinion of the other matches.

I know I went on a bit there, but I think I’ll just stop talking about that now.

Despite my predicting more results correctly than Pastor, he does win out on the number of qualifiers he predicted for the second round, getting 12 correct to my 11. I told you he was good. I had little faith in USA while he had little in Slovakia and too much in Italy. I had too much on the African teams, who let me down badly (I had Cameroon, Ghana, Nigeria and South Africa going through). Despite having seen all the teams play now, I’m going to stick with what I predicted beforehand for the unchanged matchups. Here we go:

Match 1: Uruguay vs South Korea

My original matchup was Mexico/Nigeria with Nigeria winning in extra time (African teams have a habit of going to extra time). As it was, I predicted 2-1 to Uruguay before the match and that’s how it turned out to be.

Match 2: USA vs Ghana

As England did not win their group and we failed to see France emerge from theirs, this side of the bracket had an unfamiliar look to it. I predicted Ghana to win it 1-0 in extra time, and they did it 2-1 in extra time. However, I sincerely believed, like the Pastor, that the Americans were capable of better. On the night, the psychological toll of conceding twice (which to be fair were very good goals) did for them in the end.

Match 3: Germany vs England

This was originally Germany vs Slovenia, and I had only gone for a 2-1 German win. I predicted England to take this 2-0 in the second half. Now I don’t know why and as I said, I don’t want to talk about it.

Match 4: Argentina vs Mexico

I was surprised the hosts South Africa did not qualify. As it was, I saw them being beaten here 3-1 by Argentina, and Argentina subjected Mexico to the same scoreline. In my opinion, there was a bit of luck heading the way of the Argentines in this game, and now they get to meet the other team that has had some luck, Germany. Should be a cracker.

Match 5: Netherlands vs Slovakia

I had this matchup already predicted at 2-0 and I’ll stick by it. The Dutch haven’t been tested by a big team yet, and so I expect them to play similarly to their group stage matches and grind out a win. But if there’s an upset on the cards in this round, it might just be Slovakia who played very well against Italy but weren’t that good against New Zealand or Paraguay. Depends on which Slovakia turns up.

Match 6: Brazil vs Chile

Again, I’d already predicted 4-1 Brazil win for this fixture. I don’t think Brazil will beat them by that much but Chile will be missing three suspended defensive players. They are quite good on the counter but have had difficulty scoring. I’ll be rooting for them but I think Brazil will be too strong.

Match 7: Paraguay vs Japan

Japan are really the surprise of the tournament so far for me. The Pastor has faith in them to go to the semifinals. I will snigger derisively at this and predict, okay, I won’t, because I think he might just be right. I originally had Cameroon winning 2-0 over Paraguay and this time I’ll go for Japan with the same scoreline.

Match 8: Spain vs Portugal

This turned out the same and I predicted a victory for Portugal via penalty kicks. I’ll stick by this and here’s why: Portugal have yet to concede and were defensively very solid in qualifying too. Spain will get frustrated although if Alonso is not fit and Fabregas comes in, that might change things. Del Bosque has been conservative and I fear that he’ll stick with his system and bring in Javi Martinez in place of Alonso. If Torres continues to misfire, this might be very tight, go to penalties and as Casillas is not his imperious Euro 2008 self, Portugal will go on to a quarterfinal against Japan.

Speaking of which, real quick quarterfinals predictions: Uruguay 1  Ghana 1, Uruguay winning on penalties,  Argentina vs Germany I had Argentina winning on penalties. I’ll actually change this one and have Argentina winning 3-2 instead in the match of the tournament. Portugal to beat Japan 2-0, and the Netherlands to overcome Brazil 1-0. The Dutch will continue on their inexorable run to the final by defeating Uruguay 3-1 while Argentina will unlock that Portuguese defense with a 3-0 win. And my final remains the same, Netherlands overcoming Argentina 2-1. Messi will have to wait until 2014.

Second Round Match 51: Germany vs England

What’s this? Oh just a little match between teams that don’t have any history or rivalry or any bad feelings left over from World War II. Right? So wrong, so wrong. I’m writing here on about four hours of sleep but I woke up buzzing in anticipation. This is the biggest match so far, a major matchup of footballing powers although both these teams are very different from their traditional makeup, especially Germany. I have to admit that ever since the 2006 World Cup, I have really enjoyed watching the Germans play and it won’t be a bad thing to see them progress at this World Cup. At the same time, this is an English team run by a man known for nothing if not winning, Fabio Capello. There is no way that he is letting the Germans roll right over his team. That team does not have the kind of world-class performers that perhaps it had in 2002 or even 2006, but they had an impressive qualification campaign (how often do we say that about England?) and finished with the most goals scored of any European team.

I’m sticking with my prediction of 2-0 to England but I’m going to really jinx myself and am secretly hoping for a penalty shootout win for England. Imagine banishing two ghosts at once! Later on in the day, we have Argentina vs Mexico. Pastor has abandoned his surprise team for the tournament, Mexico, and predicts an Argentina win. I’ll have to do the same but I have no idea in what manner that win will come. Mexico have a poor record against Argentina and I don’t see the match going to penalties with the goalscoring prowess Argentina have. Let me just say  2-1 to Argentina and be done with it. The anthems are in progress, we are five minutes away. I can’t keep food down right now.

England are unchanged from the last game. A bit concerned about Matthew Upson in the center of defense. Germany bring in Klose. This is now officially under way. England!

1st half:

5th minute: An early mistake from the linesman as Lahm played Rooney onside but he’s flagged when he’s clear with only one man to beat. Unfortunate. Ozil goes for it at the other end but James stands firm and saves. The corner for Germany is also caught by him. A confident start from old Calamity.

17th minute: A cautious beginning from both teams, and fairly even so far. The English look a little too narrow for my liking. Germany using the width of the pitch a little better. Rooney looks angry. That could be both good and bad for England.

20th minute: Defensive disaster for England. Ball over the top from the goalkeeper is let bounce and Klose is on the chase and beats both Terry and Upson to the ball and puts a great finish past James. England are 1-0 down early on.

30th minute: Chances at both ends. Khedira, Muller and Klose combine beautifully and James earns his pay by making a great save with his legs. On the other end, Defoe hits the bar with a header. He’s flagged off for offside anyway.

32nd minute: I do think it officially is over for England. Another offensive move of great skill opens up England and Podolski finishes expertly through James’ legs. 2-0 to Germany. English defense, needless to say, completely torn apart.

36th minute: Germany almost again from a corner as Barry messes up his control badly. It’s another corner that James catches. Lampard looking dangerous all of a sudden.

37th minute: Oh yes and oh no. A corner comes in and Upson scores. Then Lampard has a shot that bounces off the bar and crosses the line, two inches behind the line and it’s not given. Unbelievable. All the Germans will be saying this is justice for that 1966 goal. That was a much clearer goal than that one though. What a letoff for Germany. It’s 2-1 but really, really should be 2-2.

Half-time: That is the worst decision by a linesman I’ve seen since, well, 1966. That defines the match, as well as England’s sluggish defense that has been exposed time and again. Germany aren’t looking too solid themselves at the back. A nightmare for England but perhaps Capello can use this injustice to fire up his team. And they need more width, a little more penetration but they are afraid of that German counterattack, and rightly so. I can’t see that replay. If England lose, that replay will become almost as famous that that other one.

2nd half:

46th minute: Seeing that replay over and over again, it just gets worse and worse. England have to win this to erase that.

52nd minute: Lampard with a free kick and he hits the bar and bounces off. Not going to be England’s night, the crowd says.

58th minute: A slow start to the second half and England look a little ponderous again. England need to put aside that disallowed goal and go for it.

63rd minute: A bit of a wake up here from England as Milner and Defoe have half-chances. At the other end, Schweinsteiger has a shot go just wide. Nerves? Yes, I know what nerves are right now. Joe Cole has just come on for James Milner, who hasn’t had a bad game.

67th minute: A Frank Lampard hits the wall and Germany counter with speed and precision, and Muller shoots it in from the right. It’s 3-1 to Germany. Don’t expect much more from me today.

70th minute: Another counterattack, another goal. It’s Muller again. It’s 4-1. Goodbye, England.

72nd minute: There’s a raffle for an England shirt. If I win it, I’m burning it in the parking lot.

75th minute: Germany smelling blood. Unmitigated disaster for England. Poor defending, poor attack, poor midfield. Doesn’t matter about that goal that wasn’t, they have been destroyed.

78th minute: An exchange of texts:

American Friend: Man dude. Really rough loss.

Me: I’m wiping this from my memory banks

AF: Are you still even watching it?

Me: What are you talking about?

AF: The game. Are you still watching it?

Me: What game?

82nd minute: Gerrard with a chance to breathe some life into England but Neuer saves. A counterattack is stopped illegally by Johnson who gets a yellow. Commentator says he’ll miss the quarterfinal. What quarterfinal?

Full-time: The conversation turns back to the goal that wasn’t but I just say that they were shit, and if they had won they would not have deserved it. They were shit. An old war song goes up from the back of the room, “There were 11 German bombers in the sky, but the Harrier from England shot one down….” I know what’s been shot down today: all English illusions about being good at this sport they allegedly invented. At 2-1 and that non-goal, it was a match between men. In the second half, it was men against boys. Good on Germany. A great team, a great match from them against a tough opponent. I wouldn’t be surprised if they go on to win it. They play very, very good football.

Go Mexico, I guess.

Matches 39 & 40: Ghana vs Germany & Australia vs Serbia

Another text from my American friend as USA scored that late, late goal: ” Holy shttjrhrhfrnfeevhs”

It was really amazing outside the bar after the matches as cars went by honking, American flags being waved and young men hopped up on Red Bull and Guinness whopping and hollering. You won’t find me supporting USA very often, but today I did.

1st halves:

6th minute: I’m going to take it easy for these two after the overexcitement in the morning. I’m looking forward to Germany vs England in the Round of 16. Still 0-0 in both games. Jerome Boateng lines up at left back for Germany against his half-brother Kevin-Prince Boateng who starts for Ghana. Badstuber is not playing. I’m not surprised.

22nd minute: Both games are going great guns so far. Germany and Ghana look very evenly matched, both creating half-chances. In the other game, Serbia have had the clearer chances and Australia have looked dangerous from set-pieces. A great save there from Mark Schwarzer in the Australian goal. How long can they survive? Speaking of which, Germany do after a great chance for Ghana. Somehow, it’s still 0-0 in both matches.

Half-time: The best chances have fallen to Germany and Serbia but it’s still 0-0 in both games. Serbia have had Australia under a lot of pressure at times. Australia are struggling to control the midfield but came into the match a little bit more as the half wore on. Germany are being harassed by a very physical Ghana in midfield who have had a few good opportunities. Very finely poised.

2nd halves:

50th minute: If it stays like this, Ghana and Germany go through. Serbia need to win because of Germany’s advantage in goal difference.

60th minute: There it is, and Ghana can’t complain. It’s a beautiful strike from Mesut Ozil for Germany. Ghana are not sleeping though as they almost quickly equalize. 1-0 to Germany. In the other match, Australia almost take the lead but the goalkeeper saves.

69th minute: That is simply stunning. Tim Cahill rises highest, as he so often has for Everton, and plants a beautiful header past the Serbian goalie.

73rd minute: Even more unbelievable! Australia score again. It’s Holman with a perfect long range strike. What an amazing scoreline.

76th minute: You can see some Ghanian players discussing the permutations. By my calculations, Australia need to score two more goals to go through to the second round at the expense of Ghana. 83rd minute: The score that I predicted has just come true. Serbia pull one back. And then they have the ball in the net again but it’s chalked off for offside. It’s 2-1 to Australia. Schwarzer can be unhappy as he spilled the shot into the path of the Pantelic to score. If they score again, they will go through on goals scored over Ghana.

Full-time: People are going to think I’m lying but I called that exact result in the Australia-Serbia game, 2-1, as the World Cup ends for Serbia. I really did think they were going to do better than this against Australia even though I picked Australia to win this match in my bracket. I was just showing The Frenchman my prediction on my laptop as Serbia scored that consolation. Eat my dust, Pastor! I now lead my great rival 27 to 19 on predictions. And on the less important matter of who qualifies for the second round, it’s Germany in first place and Ghana in second as Serbia go out bottom of the group. Australia restore some pride after that heavy loss to Germany. And now we have Germany vs England to look forward to. I think that is perfect for England. They can beat Germany and when they do, the confidence this will give them might mean they could go all the way. What a turnaround in affairs that would be. Ghana will take on the USA in the other match. It is nice that Africa do end up with at least one team qualifying for the second round, and USA will fancy their chances against this young Ghana team. According to the BBC, this means that one of either Uruguay, South Korea, USA or Ghana are guaranteed a place in the semifinals. If only England had taken their chances against Slovenia, they would not be in the side of the draw that has Germany, Argentina and potentially Spain and Brazil in it. But I firmly believe that if England beat Germany they can beat anybody.

Phew. What a day. I’ve been sitting for almost all of it but I’m really, really wiped out. Time to go home.

How to fill the time between matches? The Mini Hoof Awards!

I’ll admit right off the bat that I’m bored at work. I’ve just read everything there is to read about the World Cup on the internet (yes, I’m on a long shift) and now I’m officially out of things to do. And considering that the second phase of group stage games isn’t over yet, I can’t give out any actual Hoof awards plus I would need El Pastor’s irreplaceable input. Instead, I’m going to go ahead and award some Mini Hoofs because this second phase so far has had much more controversy, drama and good matches than the first. And as I said, I’m bored.

First off, I have to acknowledge the pivotal role Nigeria’s Sani Kaita had on his team’s match against Greece. With his team leading 1-0 and the Greeks devoid of offensive ideas, he chose to aim a silly little kick in the direction of future goalscorer Torosidis. Soon Kaita was heading back to the dressing room with his head covered by his shirt in shame. His award? The David Beckham Self-Implosion Mini Hoof. (You can see why here.) Nigeria went on to lose 2-1, putting their further participation at the World Cup in serious jeopardy.

You won’t need to rewatch that video for why the “victim” of Kaita’s ill-advised retaliation is awarded the Diego Simeone “Ma, I’m Hurt!” Mini Hoof. Vasilis Torosidis went down as if Kaita’s studs were composed of piranha teeth, thus insuring that the referee noticed the infraction and sent Kaita off. A sad part of the cynical modern game.

I feel sorry for Harry Kewell, but I can’t help but award him the Mini World Cup Experience Mini Hoof for the 24 minutes he enjoyed on the pitch against Ghana. The poor man had only seen five minutes of action since January, and his unfortunate hand ball on the line saw him get sent off. If Australia fail to beat Serbia in their next match, a match for which Kewell is suspended, then that will be the extent of Kewell’s 2010 World Cup participation.

He’s apologized but it’s going to be hard for him to live this down. Wayne Rooney was quite unhappy that England’s fans were upset with his England “team” after their dismal showing against Algeria. He said as much to the TV cameras as he walked off the pitch, stating, “Nice to hear your home fans boo ya. That’s what loyal support is.” Yes, Wayne, and please let me show you this: your very own Worst First Touch Mini Hoof. The award comes with a free pair of football cleats. Perhaps that will help next time you proudly and passionately play football for your country. Oh wait. Pride? Passion? Football? I suppose you don’t understand those words, do you?

We don’t hear much truth in this world, or in this World Cup. But all credit to Nicolas “Le Sulk” Anelka for speaking his mind to his clueless French coach Raymond Domenech. During half time of his team’s awful 2-0 loss to Mexico, Domenech apparently criticized Anelka’s performance. His response? “Va te faire enculer, sale fils de pute!” As I don’t have the services of language maven Pastor, I think that means “Go fuck yourself, you dirty son of a whore!” Um, my sentiments exactly, Nicolas. I’m sure Anelka will be proudly clutching his Veritas Mini Hoof as he flies home before the rest of the team.

Competition has heated up for the Graham Poll Worst Referee Hoof. At the moment, I can only award Mini Hoofs to these two referees and perhaps some more brethren will be competing with them by the end of this phase. Our first Mini Hoof goes to Spanish referee Alberto Undiano for his quickfire bookings in the first half of the game between Germany and Serbia. At one point, I think he gave out four yellow cards in six minutes. A red card was inevitable, and the unlucky player was Miroslav Klose. The second Mini Hoof has to go to Malian referee Koman Coulibaly for disallowing a perfectly legal third US goal against Slovenia, which would have completed an amazing turnaround for the Americans who were 2-0 down at the half. It seems like Mr. Coulibaly won’t be officiating any more games at the World Cup.

I suspect this match will receive a major Hoof of some sort but for now I will award my France 2002 Inept Performance Mini Hoof to…no, not France, though I’m tempted, but to England for their match against Algeria. The criticism has been heavy and scathing, and I must admit that I agree with most of it. I don’t think I can recall a worse England international match, and they have served up some utterly shambolic performances over the years. Rubbish.

Finally, Germany have gone from the optimism of their big win against Australia to the despair of their loss against Serbia. The stand-out culprit for me was Lukas Podolski. Usually so clinical in front of goal for his country if not for his club, he failed to hit the target from several decent opportunities. Even when he did hit the target, with his penalty, it was weakly taken and the Serbian goalkeeper saved it quite easily. He can console himself with his Zombie Striker Mini Hoof, and we can all look forward to his hat-trick against Ghana.