Second Round Match 51: Germany vs England

What’s this? Oh just a little match between teams that don’t have any history or rivalry or any bad feelings left over from World War II. Right? So wrong, so wrong. I’m writing here on about four hours of sleep but I woke up buzzing in anticipation. This is the biggest match so far, a major matchup of footballing powers although both these teams are very different from their traditional makeup, especially Germany. I have to admit that ever since the 2006 World Cup, I have really enjoyed watching the Germans play and it won’t be a bad thing to see them progress at this World Cup. At the same time, this is an English team run by a man known for nothing if not winning, Fabio Capello. There is no way that he is letting the Germans roll right over his team. That team does not have the kind of world-class performers that perhaps it had in 2002 or even 2006, but they had an impressive qualification campaign (how often do we say that about England?) and finished with the most goals scored of any European team.

I’m sticking with my prediction of 2-0 to England but I’m going to really jinx myself and am secretly hoping for a penalty shootout win for England. Imagine banishing two ghosts at once! Later on in the day, we have Argentina vs Mexico. Pastor has abandoned his surprise team for the tournament, Mexico, and predicts an Argentina win. I’ll have to do the same but I have no idea in what manner that win will come. Mexico have a poor record against Argentina and I don’t see the match going to penalties with the goalscoring prowess Argentina have. Let me just say  2-1 to Argentina and be done with it. The anthems are in progress, we are five minutes away. I can’t keep food down right now.

England are unchanged from the last game. A bit concerned about Matthew Upson in the center of defense. Germany bring in Klose. This is now officially under way. England!

1st half:

5th minute: An early mistake from the linesman as Lahm played Rooney onside but he’s flagged when he’s clear with only one man to beat. Unfortunate. Ozil goes for it at the other end but James stands firm and saves. The corner for Germany is also caught by him. A confident start from old Calamity.

17th minute: A cautious beginning from both teams, and fairly even so far. The English look a little too narrow for my liking. Germany using the width of the pitch a little better. Rooney looks angry. That could be both good and bad for England.

20th minute: Defensive disaster for England. Ball over the top from the goalkeeper is let bounce and Klose is on the chase and beats both Terry and Upson to the ball and puts a great finish past James. England are 1-0 down early on.

30th minute: Chances at both ends. Khedira, Muller and Klose combine beautifully and James earns his pay by making a great save with his legs. On the other end, Defoe hits the bar with a header. He’s flagged off for offside anyway.

32nd minute: I do think it officially is over for England. Another offensive move of great skill opens up England and Podolski finishes expertly through James’ legs. 2-0 to Germany. English defense, needless to say, completely torn apart.

36th minute: Germany almost again from a corner as Barry messes up his control badly. It’s another corner that James catches. Lampard looking dangerous all of a sudden.

37th minute: Oh yes and oh no. A corner comes in and Upson scores. Then Lampard has a shot that bounces off the bar and crosses the line, two inches behind the line and it’s not given. Unbelievable. All the Germans will be saying this is justice for that 1966 goal. That was a much clearer goal than that one though. What a letoff for Germany. It’s 2-1 but really, really should be 2-2.

Half-time: That is the worst decision by a linesman I’ve seen since, well, 1966. That defines the match, as well as England’s sluggish defense that has been exposed time and again. Germany aren’t looking too solid themselves at the back. A nightmare for England but perhaps Capello can use this injustice to fire up his team. And they need more width, a little more penetration but they are afraid of that German counterattack, and rightly so. I can’t see that replay. If England lose, that replay will become almost as famous that that other one.

2nd half:

46th minute: Seeing that replay over and over again, it just gets worse and worse. England have to win this to erase that.

52nd minute: Lampard with a free kick and he hits the bar and bounces off. Not going to be England’s night, the crowd says.

58th minute: A slow start to the second half and England look a little ponderous again. England need to put aside that disallowed goal and go for it.

63rd minute: A bit of a wake up here from England as Milner and Defoe have half-chances. At the other end, Schweinsteiger has a shot go just wide. Nerves? Yes, I know what nerves are right now. Joe Cole has just come on for James Milner, who hasn’t had a bad game.

67th minute: A Frank Lampard hits the wall and Germany counter with speed and precision, and Muller shoots it in from the right. It’s 3-1 to Germany. Don’t expect much more from me today.

70th minute: Another counterattack, another goal. It’s Muller again. It’s 4-1. Goodbye, England.

72nd minute: There’s a raffle for an England shirt. If I win it, I’m burning it in the parking lot.

75th minute: Germany smelling blood. Unmitigated disaster for England. Poor defending, poor attack, poor midfield. Doesn’t matter about that goal that wasn’t, they have been destroyed.

78th minute: An exchange of texts:

American Friend: Man dude. Really rough loss.

Me: I’m wiping this from my memory banks

AF: Are you still even watching it?

Me: What are you talking about?

AF: The game. Are you still watching it?

Me: What game?

82nd minute: Gerrard with a chance to breathe some life into England but Neuer saves. A counterattack is stopped illegally by Johnson who gets a yellow. Commentator says he’ll miss the quarterfinal. What quarterfinal?

Full-time: The conversation turns back to the goal that wasn’t but I just say that they were shit, and if they had won they would not have deserved it. They were shit. An old war song goes up from the back of the room, “There were 11 German bombers in the sky, but the Harrier from England shot one down….” I know what’s been shot down today: all English illusions about being good at this sport they allegedly invented. At 2-1 and that non-goal, it was a match between men. In the second half, it was men against boys. Good on Germany. A great team, a great match from them against a tough opponent. I wouldn’t be surprised if they go on to win it. They play very, very good football.

Go Mexico, I guess.

Can I pause the news while I’m at work?

Stop it! Stop! I guess I’ll just have to risk the wrath of my boss and post because there is too much to write about and as Pastor’s been getting the jump on me consistently in the group analysis, I’ll just continue talking about the news.

The big news today for England is the loss of captain Rio Ferdinand. Although in terms of how the team will play this is not a big blow, it might be one mentally for the team (losing two captains on such short notice? Very careless!). That’s where Capello will come in and I think if anyone can be trusted to make sure this does not have too big of a mental impact, it’s him. Ferdinand didn’t have the best season, and although some of that can definitely be blamed on injuries, he did not perform to the level we are used to seeing from him even when he played. England are certainly well-covered in that position, with King, Carragher, Upson and Dawson ready to step in. And of course I am biased when I say this, but Gerrard being captain for the World Cup could be great for his performance and for the team as a whole. He’s not called “inspirational” at Liverpool for nothing.

And now we get to laugh again at Raymond Domenech as his France lost 1-0 to China. Ah, what comedic relief he will provide as his team exits in the first round! I hope his last match in charge is the one against South Africa.

The final injury news is concerning Didier Drogba, who hurt his elbow playing against Japan. Without him, that group of death suddenly looks rather alive (sorry). I doubt though that this will keep him out of the Cup and of course, Eriksson’s got a habit of taking injured players to the World Cup. Why should he change now? For the record, Ivory Coast won the game 2-0.

The only other friendly going on right now is Slovenia against New Zealand. We’re almost at half-time and the Slovenes are winning 3-1. I’ll have to tender my Group E riposte here in a little bit, Pastor, don’t go anywhere.